Kaykas

Brother, Can You Spare a Square...

...I'm sorry, Mother Earth doesn't have a square to spare. At least Sheryl Crow doesn't think so. Remind me never to shake hands with Sheryl Crow. Not that the opportunity will ever present itself. I don't even listen to her music. I'll ride my bike and walk, I buy organic food, and I make it a habit to use biodegradable cleaning products. I've started buying organic cotton and every month I donate to Leave No Trace through CFC, but I'm sorry lady. I've got to use more than one crappy square of toilet paper (so to speak).

Daddy, I Want My Tofu!

I was sitting in City Bites, an OKC hoagie shop, for lunch this afternoon when a man came in with a little girl who looked to be about four or five years old. There was nothing particularly remarkable about them. The guy was wearing a t-shirt that said, "Mothers love good boys, but chicks dig bad boys". A real high-class kind of guy. As he collected his carry-out food, the little girl suddenly started to screech and stomp, not an unusual scene for a four-year old in public. However, the words that came out of her mouth were incongruous considering the white trash slogan her daddy's t-shirt was emblazoned with. She pounded the tile beneath her little feet, following him out the door, past the cookies and brownies screaming at the top of her lungs, "I WANT A SALAD! I WANT A SALAD! I WANT A SALAD! WAAAAAAH!"

This continued out the door and probably into the parking lot. Most kids would kick and scream at the idea of eating a salad. This girl is a dream come true for the anti-trans fat big government nannies. Maybe there's hope for the childhood obesity epidemic yet.

Or maybe not. As I related this anecdote to a guy in M-9 class, he told me about the time he was in a 7-11 when a woman was fingering the candy bars by the register. In a thick Oklahoma accent he heard her little boy say, "Momma, put that candy bar down. You're gonna ruin your appetite for McDonald's!"